Infinite Life--Analysis of "Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye

"Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

                                                                                 ~~~

In Mary Elizabeth Frye’s poem, I believe the main message she conveys is that life is not something that starts and ends, but is something that is recycled. In other words, nothing can ever truly die. In this poem, we see the image of a familiar scene: a loved one has passed away and those that know him or her mourn their loss. However, the speaker tells the mourner not to cry at the sight of the grave, for the life was never taken from them. Instead, the life that left the speaker’s human form has been recycled to continue to live on the earth in different forms.

I also see how Frye could want the reader to see how there is life in everything that we come across, no matter how insignificant. Even the light reflecting off snow (4) and the hushed sound of birds passing over (8-9) are forms of life. I think this is important because we as humans learn that something “lives” when we observe it move, breathe, or grow. However, all the items listed in Frye’s poem that the speaker claims to be move, breathe, and grow in their own way. After all, we can observe of the ‘movement’ of the “gentle autumn rain” (6), the ‘breath’ of the “morning’s hush” (7), and the ‘growth’ of light in the “soft stars that shine at night” (10).

Finally, I can also see how Frye may want the reader to see how wasteful it is to want to dwell on things. The speaker advises the mourner not to stand around at the grave to only waste time with tears, since the speaker claims that they are not even present at the grave. Perhaps Frye wants people to see how time would be better spent if it were used to observe all the beautiful things in nature that are filled with life. A grave has a very stagnant connotation compared to all the other items Frye lists—while yes, there is stillness at a grave-site, the stillness feels more like something inactive or inert. The other items in the poem have a feeling of motion and animation compared to a grave. A grave even symbolizes death, and everything the speaker tells the mourner in the poem seems to be pleading for them to distance themselves from death. To die means a permanent “sleep” (2) to the speaker. Thus, we should all strive to be wakeful in this infinite lifespan that we have.

"Seeming" over "is-ing"?

In Hamlet, we continue to discuss the major theme of Perception versus Reality, or “seeming versus is-ing”. Subconsciously, we placed more importance on the “is-ing” side, feeling that it’s better to always have things as truly how they are, not just how they appear. After all, something that “is” implies that it is legitimate, and authenticity is an important value that we treasure.

I’d like to take a moment to justify the other side of the argument.

Without appearances, there would be no truth to compare falsehoods to. What we deem as “genuine” or “real” only comes to exist after we have established what isn't.

Take for example the human form. We all like to think that what makes and identifies us human is what’s on the inside—the emotions, the mindsets, the personalities, the soul. But since none of these things are visible or tangible, we rely on what we can actually see from a person—their physical appearance—and use that to identify people. Therefore, the outside body becomes the foundation for the identity.

Surely then, in the opening scenes, if Hamlet had worn cheery reds and golds like the rest of the kingdom and plastered a smile on his face, his genuine inner sadness would have been overlooked by Claudius and Gertrude. But it is because Hamlet reflected his internal feelings in his visible appearance, with his “inky cloak” and “suit of solemn black”, that it became of notice.

What happens, then, when the outward appearance of something loses its significance? Say I chose to express happiness by frowning instead of smiling? It would be hard for others to register that I was actually happy by looking at my face. Thus, the guise of something has a lot more influence and importance than we’d care to admit.

I’m looking forward to when we cover later on that legendary line of Hamlet’s: “To be or not to be”. It has much more meaning to it now. Could it be literally asking to be, to “is”, or not? To seem or not? That is the question. Whether we personally place more importance on seeming or “is-ing”, both are critical in the identification of something or someone. One could not “is” without seeming, and vice versa.

Since both are essential, I guess it comes back down to how we personally and individually view things. Like in Grendel, the importance lies in how Grendel feels, “I create the universe, blink by blink”. In the end, I guess what’s not important is if the other person “seems” or actually “is”, but how it is observed by you alone.

“To thine own self be true”?

Hamlet's visible influence

To me, the plot of Hamlet appears very soap opera-like. According to Wikipedia, some elements of the general soap opera are:

- “Soap opera storylines run concurrently, intersect and lead into further developments. An individual episode of a soap opera will generally switch between several different concurrent narrative threads that may at times interconnect and affect one another…”

- “…an emphasis on family life, personal relationships, sexual dramas, emotional and moral conflicts; some coverage of topical issues; set in familiar domestic interiors with only occasional excursions into new locations”

- “In many soap operas…the characters are frequently attractive, seductive, glamorous and wealthy”

- “Soap opera storylines sometimes weave intricate, convoluted, and sometimes confusing tales of characters who have affairs, meet mysterious strangers and fall in love, and who commit adultery, all of which keeps audiences hooked on the unfolding story twists.”

Sound familiar? Hamlet’s plot features all of these characteristics and appears to have part of the structural basis of a soap opera series. It more likely than not is the basis for a specific plot line in some stories, at the least, being Shakespeare’s most recognized play and therefore an influence to many succeeding works. Ironically, the synopsis of tomorrow’s episode of the notable soap opera The Young and the Restless even describes how one character discovers the truth regarding a serious accident, while another is haunted by memories of one killed in the accident (Source). Act 1, scene 5 much? Additionally, CBS lists the same soap opera’s biggest plot lines as being based around deviancy, rivalry, and most importantly, revenge (Source).

I guess this goes back to what Mrs. Clinch was saying before we started the play: as we read, we will begin to see how everything is Hamlet. “Everything is Hamlet. You and I are Hamlet. Life is Hamlet,” I believe her words were, and I’m beginning to see how this is true. Aside from soap operas, traces of Hamlet can be found in popular movies and novels. We know that Hamlet was the first work of literature to question the sham of everyday without easy answers, so perhaps all these succeeding adaptation-like works are more attempts to answers these tough questions regarding the futility and wrongs in life. After all, a major part of human existence is questioning.

I wonder what Shakespeare’s purpose was when he framed Hamlet in what we know today as a soap opera-like structure. Much of the inner workings and details of the plot are revealed in Hamlet’s personal soliloquies and events in which all the characters are not present with the main action of the play. Why did Hamlet hear about his father’s stealthy murder in the presence of a ghost? Why was Hamlet the only one to hear about his father’s murder? Why does Hamlet not immediately share with his peers what he discovered? This type of situational and dramatic irony is often a driving force found in soap operas, but during our read of this play it has become obvious that Hamlet is pretty close to being the original soap opera that started it all.